If you are consistently hated, ridiculed or constantly criticized by those around you, and you or others find it confusing because you are generous and kind on a regular basis, know you are surrounded by jealous, narcissistic people who want to bring you down to their level.
Being so hated, misunderstood and feeling the strong pull to isolate actually means you are an extremely important presence on this planet and have the ability to transform people’s lives by just being your true self around them, resisting society’s programming to try to get you to conform and surrender your individuality, eccentricity and creative ambitions.
But in order to offer such gifts, and reap the benefits, you must get outside your head, get outside your dwelling, be willing to risk rejection and be able to distinguish between those who need and will appreciate your gifts — and want to help you out of a sense of gratitude — and those who simply want to use you and drain your energy, steal from you and usually only give to you because they expect something back, often during your most vulnerable times.
Don’t feel ashamed when you lash out at people or feel like you want to self harm or feel needy. Those who genuinely care about you will easily accept your apology, apologize themselves for what they feel they did wrong — often as unwarranted as many of your apologies — and want to be there for you, to help you, listen to you, let you vent and not take what you have to say personally.
Narcissists may accept your apology, but find no reason to apologize or make amends themselves, or will want to further blame and critique you, explaining the ways in which you need to change or be in ways these people will not or have little desire to.
Do not hesitate to completely burn bridges with these people for they tend to want to cross them to try to drag you back to their side, keep you from building bridges with others or try to throw you off the edge so they feel less alone. This may sometimes involve saying incredibly hostile or threatening things to get them to leave you alone, which might make you feel a lot of shame that is unwarranted because it is ok and healthy to be angry at abusive people. This is righteous indignation and you standing up for yourself, which you may not have done much of in your life to avoid becoming a bully yourself.
You may also need to pursue legal action such as a restraining or no contact order. But avoid violent actions out of your anger, including against yourself, as it is what these people want, for you to be seen as much of a negative in the world as they know deep down they are, including wanting you to do things that would lead to your incarceration or death.
So if you’re surrounded by such people, rejoice, you’re a gift to the world! You have what they and many people don’t have which is the ability to adapt, be flexible and be generous even when you have lost everything you had, often taken by the narcissists in your life.
Just don’t let yourself be unwrapped by people who will never see you as the gift you are, who tend to see you as a burden, and don’t hesitate to see them as the gag gift they who need to be returned and exchanged for your self of dignity and self worth.
Clay The Scribe 