Eternal Doubt Is My True Love

Am I dying
Or is pain being removed
To allow the impossible
Of everlasting joy?

Am I impossibly weak
For asking for outward love
Because I can’t find it inside?

Can I shuck away self denial
Or is it perpetually me
Does Eve/God truly love me
Or just wanting to take the remains of my soul?

Is it so wrong to want stardust return
Because being strong is too hard
Am I a worthless toddler
Or can outward love truly save me?

Is unconditional love with no strings attached real
Or am I, are we addicted to lies
Are those who live from pure joy
Just psychopaths waiting to betray?

I would like to know the difference
Because I can’t find it inside.

The dark night of the soul is my only mode
My only love
Dating eternal day terrifies me as the ultimate deception

Cosmic complexity, drag me under to drown
You win.

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